Hey Pony fellas!
I know it’s totally out of season, but I’ve been accosted lately by pony historians asking me to help them with information about the truth of the Original Hearth’s warming eve. The Pagent has been you silly pony’s only record of the even so long you forgot what the original event is kinda lost you you all! Well Ol’ Gregory is at your service, and I’ll shed some light on the truth behind the Hearth’s warming eve story.
In this Post, let’s go over the principles of the play. The Hearth’s warming even Pageant has six staring roles: Princess Platinum, Clover the Cleaver, Chancellor Puddinghead, Smart Cookie, Commander Hurricane and Private Pansy. Even though they are traditionally played all played by Mares, Clover the Clever, and Puddinghead were actually Stallions.
Princess Platinum was the De-facto ruler of the Unicorns since the unicorn King Nova Star was bedridden and unhealthy for most of his life. She was pretty much as depicted in the play, haughty, high-minded and very beautiful. I’ve seen Tapestries of this mare, and trust me …even I would hit that. She was also a very astute battlefield planner, even though the unicorns fielded a very weak army. Clover the Clever was her “Ward” when he was very young, just after he was trained in the deep magics (that is, how to move the sun and moon) by Starswirl the Bearded. Clover the Clever wrote a number of scrolls and texts on magic and science, but all but three were lost in the subsequent migration. Of those three, two (“Sight Unseen” and “Eyes behind the Sky”)are hidden in Canterlot’s archive and marked as “Sealed by her Majesty” What’s actually in the two sealed texts is the subject of a number of conspiracy theories. The third “Ethics and morays of the mage” Is required reading for any foal in Magic Kindergarten. The relationship of Clover the Clever and Princess Platinum was abound with scandal, a letter to Platinum’s father from a concerned Lord read “She cavorts with the common mage as one would with a lover, sharing lustful words freely in the presence of noble and serf alike” so naughty! Platinum is also known to have had a very controversial relationship with her cousin Lady Galena. A particularly saucy letter I found written from Platinum herself to Galena read in part: “I would most like for you to come to court again, so the two of us can steal away and seek the other’s most private charms.” Who knew history could be so sexy?
Chancellor Puddinghead was an eccentric, but very innovative inventor in the Earth Pony Renaissance. Among the things he invented were the Indoor Gas Lamp, the Steam Piston and an irrigation pump that ponies still used today. He was also a poet, sage, and printed the “Hoofs down Almanac” an annual farmer’s manual that advised farmers on weather patterns throughout the year. Being very popular as a sage an scientist (Albeit an uneducated one) He was Elected six times to the position of “High Chancellor of the Consul of Earth Ponies” Despite his obvious intelligence, he was a lousy politician. Depsite the fact his epople lvoed him his policies singly-hoofidly destroyed the Earth Pony economy. His Nice Smart Cookie was appointed Secretary Genral by Puddinghead soon after he was elected, and she did her best despite her Uncle’s poor leadership and eccentricities. Little is known about Smart Cookie herself, she was described by a unicorn diplomat as “Competent, Polite and quite pleasing on the eyes, though she denied me all but the most subtle smile” While Puddinghead was never married he fathered around 70 foals outside of wedlock, by many women. You read that right, he was a notorious Lothario. Some even think Smart Cookie herself was the daughter of Puddinghead and his brother’s wife.
Commander Hurricane was one of Pegasus history’s most controversial figures. Depending on who you speak to, she was either the founder of the Pegasus’ culture and mother of it’s value, or a heartless tyrant, who massacred thousands. What is known is that Commander Hurricane Established the first Pegasus Senate (A ruling parliament that meets in Cloudsdale to this day) and wrote the first “Articles of Republic” the framework of the laws that eventually developed into the laws and freedoms Equestrians enjoy. Also true is that she was a brutal Conqueror who slaughtered thousands, killed her own servants when they didn’t please her, and famously was quoted saying “Should you spare even our enemy’s squirming infants I will see this, and punish you.” to her officers before a raid. She once killed one of my Ancestors, Argon of Gath, had his body was quartered and mailed to the four elders of the Griffon lands.
Private Pansy? She was fictional, thrown in to add some much needed comedy whenever Commander Hurrican was on stage. Phew, nasty stuff!
More Next time!